Dear Broseph,
I need your help! The other day, I was driving out the J-Lot in my boyfriend’s car, when I noticed that something was wrong with the AC. When I looked, I found a girl’s earring inside one of the dashboard air vents!
We’ve been a couple for almost 3 years at this point, and when I confronted him about it, he broke down and admitted that he’s been cheating on me. I’m a complete wreck and need advice, what should I do?
Sincerely, Devastated
Dear Devastated,
I know exactly what you’re going through, and I understand your frustration. The condenser takes the heat of the refrigerant by changing it from its gaseous state to a liquid state. A clogged car condenser can prevent cool air from flowing through the vents, potentially overheating the interior of your boyfriend’s car. I would recommend flushing the car’s AC system to fix this issue.
Good luck! Broseph
Dear Broseph,
I’ve been friends with Sharon (not her real name) since Lafayette, but recently, she’s been spending more and more time alone. She looks pale, and doesn’t seem to be sleeping well. My best guess is that she’s struggling with schoolwork, and recently lashed out at me when I tried to offer her support. I’m torn on what to do! What do you think?
Sincerely, Sheila Gilman
Dear Sheila,
Sadly, there are many potential reasons for why your friend is feeling down. Schoolwork, health issues, and 7:40 start times are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to low energy levels. However, on this occasion I fear her lack of enthusiasm is due to her thinking about a recent bill introduced to the New Jersey Legislature, which would establish green stormwater infrastructure in the design, construction, reconstruction, and repair of public highways throughout the state. The only way to rekindle your friend’s enthusiasm is to call on your local legislators to vote YES for Bill A1737 on April 27th.
Hope this helps, Broseph
Dear Broseph,
My friend Sarah (not her real name) is a genius. She has a near-perfect GPA, and even Mr. Lynott gave her a passing grade! She’s able to understand history and philosophy like no junior I’ve ever met. The problem is she wants to be a singer, and her heart has been set on pursuing this dream after high school. I only want the best for her, and I’m not sure how to convince her to use her mind for a greater purpose. What should I do?
Sincerely, imagine wagons
Dear Imagine,
Clearly, you’re not a big follower of the current music industry because if there’s one industry that would benefit from a genius coming on board, it’s that one.
Here’s the bottom line: you have two options. You can keep dragging her down, or you can encourage this young Swifty to shoot for the moon. Instead of pestering her, tell Sarah to pursue new extracurriculars while she still can. Her talents might lead her to join Chorus or an acapella group, sing in the PULP’s annual PoetryFest, or hand out mixtapes in front of the school. Whatever it is, the choice should be hers.
Broseph
Dear Broseph,
I’m sad. Recently, Ms. [REDACTED] passed me over for a lab assistant position. I really think this would’ve been a fantastic opportunity for me to get some hands-on science experience, and the person that got it instead is a total slacker! Should I give up hope?
Sincerely, Shaquille Oatmeal
Dear Shaquille,
Just show up and start working. What’s the school gonna do, pay you?
Broseph
NOT ALLOWED:
Dear Broseph,
I’m flat broke. I work at a local Starbucks, and my employer literally pays me less than the minimum wage, but I can’t do anything about it. It literally costs me more in gas to drive to work than I earn in a day. How should I go about negotiating a pay raise with my employer?
Sincerely, Caffeinated
Dear Caffeinated,
At the time of writing, gas is currently over $4 a gallon. This means a full tank is about $140 on average. If you drive off without paying, the court date is in 2 months, where you’ll have to pay a fine of $80. That’s a net savings of $60. I’m not allowed to say it, but from a purely economic standpoint, that’s a good deal.
You’re welcome, Broseph